There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
