you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
