my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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