Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
