I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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