Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
