Soap is not a condiment
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
