Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize