just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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