He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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