i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
