Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
