My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
