She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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