New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
