I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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