it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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