i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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