My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
