There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize