how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
