Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
