She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
