Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
