maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
