You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize