Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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