escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize