New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
