Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
