Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
