used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
