I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
