I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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