YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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