We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
