put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
