If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
