His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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