Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
