Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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