Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize