I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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