Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
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