Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize