He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Do you have feelings for this penis?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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