I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
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