cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
