she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
