We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
