i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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