Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
