so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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