mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
