the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
