I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
