no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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