Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
