a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
