I hope mine doesn't look like that
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
