Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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