She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize