She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
