His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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