No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
