I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
