I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
