dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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