and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
